So I finally decided to write my second journal/blog/ whatever this is…
I'm in Paris for lunch (aka a layover) from Croatia… Cant complain. Im breathing, and for the first time in months, excited to work on new music (my new album). Belgium was cool, Munich was fun on the days off, but i couldn't work. That's the worst feeling. At least we got to see Nas 3 times this week, Erykah Badu, & chill with the homie Mac Miller for an action-packed night to remember.
Croatia is awesome tho. Although I've been frustrated as f#ck for the last 5 days before Splash Fest Friday night in Berlin, I'm good now. Splash was awesome. 20 thousand people. Nas, etc. Cant ask for more. Croatia was BEAUTIFUL. i wish i could have stayed for more than 12 hours.
Tour can be hit or miss… Some nights may be the best of your life. Others can be humbling, embarrasing, and depressing. It depends on how the promoter/and/or your agent/manager handles things. I've sold out shows on 5 continents, and flopped in spots i've loved at the same time cuz of poor promotion. On that note, things on my side are about to change. Theres nothing worse than be being de-valued. Ive been doing tour support for the artists on my label for years. I figured when i did that it would help everyone involved… but as soon as some of these guys see fast $$ opportunities, they switch their style up. Its all good tho. Maybe part is my fault for not signing production deals with certain people so they couldn't get money without me. Maybe its my fault for expecting loyalty. Maybe its time for a "Showoff 2.0" roster… or not. we'll see. i know one thing, I need to "do me" as the cliche says for a little while, and get excited about my craft again… cuz besides touring, it brings me down.
I have so many things going on that I'm afraid to jinx, so i don't even tell my mother, partners, or best friends…. and that sucks. i wanna find the fun in this on the creative side again.
I can say this… me & XXL are about to start an amazing video show for hip hop. Me & MTV are talking something else… Me & Duck Down are talking the next project, and i am more focused on my new album than ever before. Ever.
This morning i drove 4 hours in a plush BMW from the Island of Pag , Croatia, to the airport. The driver was detailing his experience of the Croatian war in 1990… and along the way he made a joke about "but u live in Brooklyn" . Don't get it twisted. Brooklyn is no resort, and its still to this day grimy as f#ck. but this guy was telling me stores of DUMP TRUCKS full of dead bodies. And his house that he lives in with his parents to this day was burned down not once, but twice.
And they still reference the USA. Its crazy. We're like the international symbol of f#ckery.
I could write my thoughts all day… but right now, i just wanna say THANK YOU...
To the fans, To Family, To Kool Herc & Company that created this. I've been to some really, really crazy places in this world off my love in hip hop. nothing more. i wasn't born rich, or wealthy, or lucky for that matter. i grabbed some vinyl and manipulated it.
Extended Play on the way.